The Wardrobe Code - Be Yourself

The Trouble with Average

Is there a part of you that feels as though you deserve to be somewhere in the middle, and not at the top?

Let me explain.

In my life, I’ve seen – too many times – women who have so much potential for greatness, who simply opt to not pursue it. They can clearly see what needs to be done, how it can be done, and then say, “nah.”

Mostly I’m talking about greatness in their careers, but also just general greatness. And really, when I think about it, what I’m talking about is happiness from a sense of having taken control of your life and engineered it so.

Why do they do this? I’m not sure, actually …

I think it’s a common thing for women to think, “hey, I’m just like everyone else – average.” It’s our way of equalizing ourselves, keeping our egos in check and relating to others. In fact, I would venture a guess that a lot of us feel this way, even if we don’t say it outright.

I mean, what are you, better than someone else? No, of course not! See, women are good at that – the virtue of inclusivity.

If you identify with the pull to accept average, I would imagine that you enjoy simplicity – nothing wrong with that. Perhaps you just want to find beauty and simplicity in your life, amidst responsibilities and the general chaos of being a modern woman. Understandable.

And maybe, if we’re being honest, you’re attracted to average because it feels safe (this is where responsibilities, chaos and obligation come in to play). Risk is scary. And sometimes just speaking up at your job or even hiring a virtual assistant in your business can feel like it takes a lot of risk. Again, safety is a good thing to have; not trying to argue with that.

But here’s my problem with average: I think it’s a bit dangerous for women in 2015, especially we women in our 30s. The idea that being “average” is okay, even something to strive for concerns me. Being average is to blend in, to conform, to fit the mold of something everyone is comfortable with – to stoke the approval of the masses. To avoid speaking up when it’s necessary, to avoid taking a stand on something – anything – that matters to you. To avoid substance in favor of vapidity.

You know, average. Surface. Superficial.

Being average is to ignore your calling, no matter how small. And that is, in effect, ignoring the pull we all have to do greater things and achieve more happiness for yourself and others in your life. Why? Because it’s hard?

Just like everyone wants the effortless wardrobe they can buy off the rack, everyone also wants the fulfilling life that lands in their lap. And, if you don’t know this by now, neither of these things exist. Just like a wardrobe is effortless only after you’ve put in the effort to curate it, a life is fulfilling because you’ve filled it with both comforting and discomforting experiences.

We need women who aren’t satisfied with average. We need women who think, “heck, yeah – I am better than her, watch me prove it.” We need women who want to inspire other women with their thoughts and ideas, and not just how they pair accessories or which status bag they carry.

But know this, if you aspire for any level of greatness in any area of your life, falling into the “average trap” won’t ever get you there.


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