You know those times in a friendship when you just have to keep it real? Like, when your friend is doing something which is both self-destructive and annoying, and you must confront the situation right away? When you need to show your friend a little bit of tough love?
Well, this is one of those times. So, here goes …
My friends, it’s time to stop complaining about your body. Stop whining about your muffin top, stop kvetching about your back fat, stop bitching about your belly.
I’m not saying you have to be happy with it, I’m not even saying that you should “CELEBRATE YOUR CURVES!” Let’s be honest, no one loves love-handles.
However, I’m sure the sum of your lovely lady parts is probably more good than bad. So, instead of trying to say “I love my body” over and over until it’s programmed into your head, just work on a little bit of self-acceptance and try working with what you’ve got.
The key to looking – and feeling – great is Fit, with a capital “F.” Sometimes your clothing needs a little extra help. If your boobs aren’t where they used to be, get fitted for a good bra and put those girls in their place. If you’re derriere is a out of control, wear some Spanx (check out this article on Gawker which acurately compares wearing Spanx to the anxiety-calming Thundershirt for dogs).
My point is: if the way you’ve been dressing yourself isn’t working for you anymore, then you’ve got to figure out a better way. Trust me, satisfaction with your image is just on the other side.
But sometimes a supportive undergarment isn’t enough. Sometimes you woke up and your ass grew 3 sizes overnight (totally happened to me once). So what do you do? Obviously, you’ll want to commit to some healthy eating, exercise and reasonable goals.
The truth you need to hear is that you’ve been using those complaints as an excuse for not making your personal style better today. Not only that, but nobody wants to hear someone else complain about their thighs. When you do that, you’re just filling the air with negativity.
The hard part comes when you stop complaining about your body’s flaws (we all have them) and face them instead. It’s hard to take an objective look in the mirror – I know.
I know, I know, I know. If you weren’t aware, I also have a body, and it’s definitely not of the supermodel variety.
Either way, you’ve got to face what you’re working with. Because, when you take an honest assessment of your shape, you can figure out how to dress it better. Here are my quick tips on managing your figure:
- Supportive undergarments! If you’re over 30, they should be at least on your radar, if not in your lingerie drawer – we’re talking Spanx here. Wear under knit garments (ponte, jersey) and anything especially sheer
- Bras that lift. I’m not a big fan of Victoria’s Secret; I once bought a bra from them online, only to find when it arrived that the shoulder straps did not adjust – WTF, VS?!!! I’m a 36C and I personally prefer buying unlined, underwire bras from BareNecessities.com
- When in doubt, go for form-fitting over anything baggy. You may think you’re hiding some bulges under loose clothing, but “tenting” your curves is never a good look. Add an extra layer in the form of a tank or camisole under a fitted shirt if you feel too exposed
I hope this helps, and I hope we can still be friends. I wouldn’t have said something if I didn’t care. Work WITH your body, not against it.
PS – This is the final week of registration for March Style Camp! If you want in on that amazing feeling of knowing exactly what your style is, then you must check out my Style Camp page for more information.
I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am to Nicole for having me try out this program. No joke, it has been totally life changing and has energized me in all areas of my life. I found me. If you are at all interested in participating in this Personal Style Camp yourself I encourage you to do it now!!
- Sharon Garofalow, mom & blogger (read her entire review of my service)
Thanks for being such a good friend Nicole! We all needed to hear that and I’m just glad you didn’t tell us to get off the couch and start jogging around the block at 5am in the morning every morning..lol.
xx
Well, maybe not at 5am … just kidding. I’m all about the yoga.
You write the gospel, Nicole! Great job, yet again!
I write the gospel??!! Wow, Thanks Kristin! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I was having a conversation with my neighbor the other day where she was complaining that she was not happy with her weight. I reminded her that it was all relative as in it could be changed if she really wanted it to. That is what I don’t get about most people. They complain about things that they have the power to change. The same is true about the way people dress themselves. They could easily hire you to educate them on what they should be wearing etc. and thus be less negative. Then again people would have to actually care about themselves in order to do that.
I couldn’t agree more, Rama! Like I said, all that complaining is just a way to avoid changing the situation.
Thank you Nicole! We need the remainder. We hide our beauty at times around our perceptions of imperfections. I like oh <3,your form fitting strategy. I have been wearing clothes that are on baggy…cute yet baggy. I am going to do more form fitting.
Luz, very good point – we tend to hide our beauty. Why?! Shining your light isn’t going to make anyone else’s dimmer.
I love this blog. I’m only 20 and I’ve never been too “girly” so first of all, thank you for not searing pink into my eyeballs and secondly, thank you for writing in a way that this tom-body can understand. Re the bras, I like to buy mine from Target. I get their T-shirt bras, No padding or underwire, and they adjust and come in nice colors. Plus you know, I don’t spend $30 per bra! It’s awesome.
Do I ever need this advise. I’m a proud anti-fashionista, but I always find myself complaining about my weight, my figure and hiding my cup d-size in baggy shirts (I live in Asia after all where being stacked is not common and gets unwanted attention). But after reading your post , I guess it’s about time that I heed the old fashionista advice to use fashion in hiding your flaws and highlighting your assets
Nicole you are right on the money again, love this piece. Wonder if we could get funding to study the 3 size overnight thing, obviously a universal challenge.
Oh, thank you Karen! Yes, what DOES cause that? I suspect, in my case at least, too many sweets and lack of exercise …